A Gay Superhero?

Yesterday, while scouring the interwebs, I stumbled upon an article that piqued my interest.  It revolved around the emergence of homosexual characters depicted in comic books.  Marvel Comic’s first openly gay superhero Northstar will be marrying his long-term boyfriend in what has caused quite a stir amongst conservative parents.  One Million Moms, an organization whose name I can safely presume is inaccurate in the actual number of its membership, has been protesting Marvel.  Apparently, gay heroes are the proverbial line in the sand that these moms have drawn in regards to the “corruption” of the children.  You can have your homosexual high school students sing on Fox, but a gay that can save the world is out of the question.  They can easily prevent their kids from watching Glee, but comics are something already instilled in most young children’s lives. 

 

Comics such as Archie have already done what Marvel is now making waves with, and to be honest when I first heard the news part of me really was hoping that they made Archie and Jughead gay as an homage to Chasing Amy.   Sadly they chose a different route.

In an even bolder move by the comic book industry, DC Comics has announced that they plan on having one of their iconic characters “come out of the closet”. This I feel is even more momentous because they will be taking a character that is well known and has been presumed heterosexual for years and putting people into a tailspin of doubt.  “If Superman is gay, does that mean my son is gay for spending his entire childhood infatuated with a man in red tights?”  Probably not, however I am not a gay scientist.  I personally am absolutely in full support of the move by the comic industry to adjust to the times and realize that being close-minded is not a super power.  The real questions remains who will they pick?

The Great Googa Mooga

This past weekend I attended the Great Googa Mooga, which is a combination food and music festival.  The brainchild of the creators of Bonnaroo, Googa Mooga showed endless promise and with offering free tickets it became an unbeatable offer.  I only attended Sunday's festivities and went with some skepticism due to reviews from how the day prior went.  Luckily it seemed that most of the glitches that occured on Saturday were resolved and everything ran smoothly.  Just putting the words Bacon, Booze and Hall & Oates together is pretty much the ingredients to a perfect day. The most tense and anxious I was the whole day was waiting for Hall & Oates to play Private Eyes.  They taunted and teased me until the end of the 2nd encore to play it.  Now some of you might think "Why wouldn't they play Private Eyes?  It's one of their biggest hits."  I know, but the first Hall & Oates show I saw, they gipted me of one of my favorite songs for a Christmas montage. I am still bitter about that.

Also I should mention if you have never heard of Peelander Z and would like to be utterly confused and entertained at the same time check them out below.  I am still not entirely sure what I witnessed but I know it was hilarious.

Instances of Injury

I remember as a kid, I would see other children come in with broken arms and legs and almost be jealous of them.  It was the kind of jealousy that only true ignorance could warrant.  Being 8 years old, a brightly colored cast that everyone wanted to sign was enough reason at the time to wish for such pain.  Obviously, now I realize how shitty breaking a bone could truly be. 

I have been lucky enough have never broken a bone, but what I lack in broken bones I have made up in spades with every other kind of injury.  I do not believe I am accident prone; rather, I believe I am victim to strange and unusual circumstances.  I played sports from 6^th grade throughout high school and college (if you consider Ultimate a sport), and the majority of the injuries I incurred had nothing do to with the sport.  I could get hit repeatedly with lacrosse sticks and be fine, but if there happened to be a slippery floor in the locker room: Goodbye, ankle.  (That didn’t really happen, but you get my point.)  Below is a list of some of the highlights of the injuries I have incurred.

1.     When I was in the 6^th grade, I was playing flag football.  I pushed a kid to the ground then when he looked up, I flipped him off.  He then reached for my finger and snapped it like a Slim Jim, dislocating and fracturing it.

2.     In high school, I was playing Manhunt with a girl I had a crush on.  I was chasing her in an attempt to tag her.  She then slipped on the road and fell onto all fours, creating a perfect hurdle that I was unable to hop.  I was clipped at the knees and tore my ACL.  She did, however, bring me a pillow to aid in my recovery.

3.     While running a drill in Ultimate practice, I missed what should have been an easy catch.  I slowed down and punched the padded wall to my right.  What I learned was that that padding was non-existent there and it allowed me to punch a metal pillar.

4.     The most hilarious injury is from when I was sitting in the backseat of a car that my friend was driving.  He fell asleep and crashed into another car, breaking my front row of teeth. 

This list goes on and on, from falling down a hole while trying to pee and cutting my eye to getting my hand slammed in a car door.  Every injury hurts and every injury heals.  The reason I am writing this post is based on the newest of the injuries.  Everyone that reads this blog and keeps up with the life and times of Ryan West knows I was to participate in a blindfold-boxing match against my roommate Livingston Ordway.  Obviously this sounds like an injury waiting to happen, and I could not agree more. However, we still did it.  Everything was going swimmingly up until the last 30 seconds of the final round – and when I say swimmingly, I mean no one was dead or unconscious yet.  At some point during one of the heated wrap-ups between us that was seemingly impossible to break up, I lost my balance and reached my arm out to the ground.  I still do not know exactly how it happened (because I was blind), but somehow when my arm went to touch the ground, my elbow decided it no longer liked its station in life and wanted to move elsewhere.  My elbow was completely dislocated, tearing some of the ligaments in my arm as well. 

It has been a month of recovery so far, and like all of the other injuries, it will heal in time.  All in all, I do not regret my decision to partake in the fight or any of my past injuries because life is too short to fill with regret.  I just wish modern medicine would learn some of that futuristic healing shit that could get you up and going in days.  Check out the video of the fight below.  Thanks to Alex Lipsky and everyone else for the videos, pictures and physical memories of such a ridiculous day.

The Art of the Happy Ending

Yet another great article from my friend Mai Tran.

Massage is one of the most ancient and universal forms of healing. It came to the US in the mid 19th century, but decreased in popularity during the 1920s and 30s because of advancements in modern Western medical techniques. However, it regained popularity among holistic medicine users and hippies during the 1960s and 70s. Because a massage is so closely physical and nakedly intimate, and because it is against the law to offer or advertise sexual services, it is very important among the natural healing community to make the “massage therapist” distinction. We are not masseurs, or masseuses. That’s something a wormy French guy does so he can get his dirty European hands all over  you.

But really, what’s the difference between a massage therapist and a prostitute? Well yea, the big one is intention. The intentions are less dirty and sexual with a massage therapist. But if a prostitute is there because some fat, pimply, social waste can’t get the physical touch/satisfaction he’s looking for from sex, what’s the difference between a person who seeks the soothing comfort of physical touch from a massage therapist? Either way you’re exchanging money for love means of physical touch.

Which brings me to my next question about sexual gratification before, after or during a massage. Sex organs are part of the body. Orgasms are a natural bodily function that provides the most pure form of full body relaxation no drug could ever mimick. So if it weren’t for Western puritanical religious traditions shaking a metaphorical finger at us from a book written a million years ago telling us sex is dirty and naughty and inappropriate, then what stops a massage therapist from incorporating a therapeutic happy beginning or ending?

Submitted by Kim Mai Tran

Professional Ultimate; Week 1 in Review

Post From TheRyanWest's Sports Writer Erik Stagnetti

Pre-post disclaimer: I’m not a sportswriter and I am more interested in talking about teams and match-ups than summarizing a game because quite frankly if you cared enough about it, you would have watched it.

Also if you have any comments, concerns, etc. that you would like to share please direct yourself to my friend Black Dynamite

Connecticut Constitution 29 – Rhode Island Rampage 23:

As a CT Constitution fan and 1 of the 3 Founding Fathers (shout out to Ryan West and Sonny Frazee) of the oldest AUDL supporter group in existence, the NYCT Minute Men, I’m going to mainly concentrate on their half of the game.

*Initially we were told the games would be viewable for 5 days, which would have allowed me time to go back and track the score progression as well as watch the game from more of a “write-up” standpoint before this post, but the stream was down until yesterday. That hasn't left me time to re-watch then write something better (Week 2 is 3 days away).  I’m also going to keep this real short and save everyone an extensive write-up on the offenses being shaky, as it was the first game and every team in the league had those issues (everyone deserves a second chance?).

Week 1 was a game full of the expected unfamiliarity between players and first game nerves combined with an unexpected moderate wind. The difference in this game that resulted in CT’s win was one main thing, simply put: early defensive pressure and intensity.

Anyone who has played club ultimate in the Northeast the past few years will see a few familiar names on CT’s defensive squad: Joe “Smash” Anderson, Isaiah “Izzy” Bryant, Joe “CJ” Ouellette, Chris Mazur and Lucas Murphy. This group came out exactly as you would have expected: fired up and looking to make a statement early.

Joe Oullette led the team with 5 Ds, as the Constitution’s defense was able to open up an early lead that the Rampage never fully recovered from. RI seemed to have no answer for Chris Mazur as he was able to tally up 8 assists in Week 1 – 4 of which were buck tre’s to wide open receivers.

However as stated above there were some definite negatives on the offensive front (both by the offensive line and the defensive line): sloppy travels (which are now a turnover), poor decisions by handlers, etc. As this was the first game, I’ll wait until Week 2 to delve deeper into either team’s offense.

Week 1 Most Valuable Patriot: Chris Mazur - for giving the fans what they want...hammers.

Let’s move on to something I care more about: CT’s Week 2 opponent - the Philadelphia Spinners.

Philadelphia Spinners 26 – Buffalo Hunters 14:

The score, from the perspective of someone who didn’t get to see the game, stirs up a lot of questions. First and foremost: how was Philadelphia only able to score 26 points?

The talk since Day 1 by nearly everyone in the East is that Buffalo will draw the weakest roster. Barring players who travel from afar, all 3 other teams have “power” cities to draw talent from (Philly is self-explanatory, CT has NYC and its suburbs, RI has Boston and its suburbs), while Buffalo is restricted to its home city, Rochester and whomever they can pull down from the Canadian teams (not sure if that was even allowed?).

On the other hand Philadelphia is a big favorite in the East and a close second to Indianapolis in the whole league: the AUDL’s website poll concerning who fans think will win the championship currently has Indianapolis with 229 votes, Philadelphia with 198 and CT trailing significantly with 74 (one can easily argue that Indianapolis is drawing a lot of votes simply based on Brodie Smith). The simple reason for this is that the Philadelphia Spinners are essentially Southpaw with a different name and a few new faces**. That gives them a significant advantage over other teams with regards to not only talent but familiarity with each other, as well as the offensive/defensive mindsets of the coaching staff.

And before someone throws a hissy fit let me clarify – I could care less if an AUDL team is composed primarily of players from a UPA/USA Ultimate open squad. Quite frankly I enjoy it, as it makes for great heckling and intensifies shit talking when a team like that loses a game (see my future article: ‘Philadelphia Spinners’ winning strategy – take a team who couldn’t win a championship in 1 league and just move them to another’).

That being said…I was expecting a team like the Philadelphia Spinners to run up the score against Buffalo. On paper there is a clear argument that this should have happened. Which leaves one to wonder – what went wrong? Their offense is not afforded the same “excuse” for a less than expected performance as the other AUDL teams (not having played together more than a couple of times). From what I have gathered they also should not have suffered from missing an important part of their roster due to the college series, as Detroit seemed to.

It was not the lowest scoring game in the league but it was arguably the most “lop-sided” match up. Philly is not going to find an easier defensive squad on CT: 3 of their main defenders are former PONY players, including defensive captain Joe “Smash” Anderson (who had 5 goals), that have a lot of experience against Southpaw. Defensive handler Chris Mazur was able to make an athletic and talented RI offensive line repeatedly pay for their mistakes with 8 assists (including 4 buck tre’s).

Week 2 Sleeper Pick: Alex Grin – without knowing his role on the Spinners, but from having watched him play from a freshman at RPI up to the AUDL, I’m taking Grin as the guy who catches a lot of teams off guard this season. His athleticism and intensity (as well as that gorgeously hairy physique) are going to give him the tools necessary to guard top-notch receivers who have more open space for cutting on the AUDL’s larger field. And when it gets turned over, those same skills are going to make him a very difficult cutter to stop.

**utilizing my admittedly imperfect research, at least 10 players on the Spinners were on Southpaw’s 2011 squad, with 4-5 more who potentially were or played on the team in the past, which accounts for over half the Spinners’ players. Combine this with the fact that 2 of their coaches held the same positions with Southpaw in 2011 and the 3^rd coach is a former player**

Submitted by Erik Stagnetti