Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

 

I cannot really tell you if I have been a good boy or not this year because I really have lost the scale that measures that.  If anything I would say I am deserving of a man of myth to break into my home and leave me some goodies underneath my fake Christmas tree that has been meticulously decorated by my obsessive compulsive roommate. 

Before listing my wish list, I would like to thank you for everything that I received from you last year.  It appears that you and God decided that instead of giving me gifts, you would take a bunch of things away, similar to that of a small child having a little “too much fun” with their food.  Within a very close proximity you were about to destroy my career, relationship, and a good chunk of my possessions via flood.  Humility is a gift best given over time.    Either way I would like to thank you for creating a new and unique mindset that has allowed me to approach the world in a completely different fashion.  Now give me what I want fat man.