On an overcast Sunday afternoon, 9 friends enter Bar Coastal to not only test their stomachs, but also their will power. Recently, each contender purchased a deal through the Thrillist that got him/her a ticket for “All You Can Eat Wings and 3 Pitchers of Beer per Person” for the low price of $19. Each man and woman entered the restaurant with the intention of stumbling out and leaving the bar in financial ruins for offering such a ridiculous deal. Looking at the crew, you wouldn’t expect them to be the All Star Team for an All You Can Eat fest, but when God gives you lemons, you throw that shit back at that sour bitch and eat some chicken.
Weighing in with a mean weight of roughly 148 lbs (drunkenly calculated), the group sits down at their battle stations, each person anxious to knock down the population of chicken a leg or two. The first round of wings and beer is ordered. Chicken wings covered in various sauces were served alongside pitchers of Sierra Nevada, Yeungling and BK Lager. Fortunately, the deal allowed for decent beer, as opposed to the nasty swill most bars serve with these things (i.e. Bud Light).
Within mere minutes, more pitchers were ordered, and bones began to pile up everywhere. Those chickens didn't stand a chance. It was massacre, a delicious massacre. It went down like this for about an hour before we began to slow down. Some members got up to use the bathroom, claiming to pee but taking suspiciously longer. Around an hour and a half in, it began to take a little longer between each wing and each pitcher, but each member diligently and methodically pushed forward into the fray. People began tapping out with the 15 minute warning, but the few still going were going strong. No one was even touching the veggies anymore; it was all beer and chicken from here on out. When the 2 hour limit hit, we were gassed, and there were a couple stranglers left on the plates – a few survivors. We were all gut-bombed, but I am pretty sure who won this fight!
The battle was hard-fought and the wings were delicious. Together, this squad of misfits took out 200 wings and 18 pitchers of beer in 2 hours. Overall a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon.
-Livingston Ordway and Ryan West