Santa Speedo Sprint

The Santa Speedo Sprint

Back when I still lived in Albany, Squirrel and I heard of an event that was being held on Lark Street called the Santa Speedo Sprint.  It was a charity event to help raise money for a cause that I have completely forgotten.  To be fair my intentions for entering the race were not noble.  I just thought it would be a hilarious event and something fun to do in Albany.  I went to Squirrel with an idea I had where I wanted to drag him on a sled in my reindeer outfit (a gift given to me by Kim Ryan a couple months prior).  We figured it would be funny if he wore a Speedo and just sat in a sled as I dragged him for the race.    I admit our planning of how to accomplish this was poorly done, but we were young and just assumed everything would just fall into place.  First off Squirrel did not get a Speedo instead he purchased a g-string which was a little more revealing.  He also purchased a toy whip to use on me during the race.  In addition he had a sack of candy that he would throw out to the spectators.  I was in charge of the sled construction.  Pretty much I knew that we would not be able to just drag a sled on the road, so I decided to add wheels to the sled for ease.  I took four office chair wheels and drilled them into the sled and used a copious amount of hot glue to secure them.  I tested it out on my living room floor and they seemed fine.   From there I simply used rope to attach the sled to a backpack, which I would wear over the reindeer outfit.    We found out there was a pre-party at Lark Tavern where people could get a drink prior to the race.  So we walk over fully dressed however I am fully dressed in normal clothes over a reindeer outfit.  I drink out of a straw so I do not need to take my mask off.  Race time begins and once people see what is about to happen, we quickly are moved to the front of the start line.  The horn goes off and we are cruising.   I think that I easily have this as the wheels are assisting so much and it just feels like a light jog.  The one thing we neglected to realize was that the cross streets on Lark are cobblestone so as soon as we hit the first cross street the wheels fly off.  The task instantly became very tiring.  It starts to heat up under the costume and difficult to breath.  Also the 2nd leg of the race was uphill which made matter just that much worst.  I would love to say that I finished the race however at the last block when I was practically falling from exhaustion, squirrel gets out of the sled and says for us to run to the finish line.  I am sure it was a Cool Runnings moment he was aiming for.  Later on I was able to see videos of the race, which were absolutely hilarious just because Squirrel handled being the Santa like a pro.  He was waving to the crowd and throwing candy to the masses.