06-30-11 Michael Cera's one movie has been re-released 15 times with different titles.
06-29-11 I'm getting each wisdom tooth taken out one at a time to get the maximum amount of narcotic pain killers.
06-28-11 When writing a menu with Fingerling Potatoes, make sure you include the L.
06-27-11 Coffee > Ice Coffee > Plasma Coffee.
06-26-11 Hublot - the office sponsor of stoppage time everywhere.
06-25-11 The best part about those jobs you had as a teen was hanging out in the walk-in refrigerators.
06-24-11 If you ever get the chance, change your residency to Truth or Consequences, New Mexico.
06-23-11 I wish my job would have a lockout.
06-22-11 I am enduring an incredible challenge, I am not going to drink alcohol in any form for ten days.
06-21-11 The only way to have fun for free is at the expense of someone else.
06-20-11 Happy Birthday Doc Cots
06-19-11 Teams should have their cinematic introductions directed by David Lynch.
06-18-11 When I sent the last group of sentences to Ryan, I spent 10 minutes making the spacing between them very awkward, in order to annoy him as he copy and pasted them to the website.
06-17-11 I love basketball, but I say Colby Bryan at work so people do not try to relate to me.
06-16-11 Humidity and greasy hair.
06-15-11 Thundersticks are much better than the noodley looking things that people wave.
06-14-11 Whether you win or lose the Kentucky Derby, you're still going to be made into glue.
06-13-11 There are a couple subway lines, that the only time I've been on them, is when I've woken up drunk and disoriented.
06-12-11 I gave a small speech about how thermostats did not contain thermometers today.
06-11-11 Benadryl gets rid of allergy symptoms, but produces zombie symptoms.
06-10-11 I went to open Microsoft word, and found I do not have it, rockin the openoffice!
06-09-11 Listening to music on headphones so loud it drowns out the music I am listening to on my headphones.
06-08-11 Poisoned tip umbrellas.
06-07-11 Cicis is an all you can eat cinnamon roll buffet, with pizza sides.
06-06-11 An ant with a little ax, is the only way I can think of, for how split peas are made.
06-05-11 I like putting my ear next to a pregnant belly, and gently saying over and over, "murder".
06-04-11 If there is soft serve ice cream on the way to your event, I will go.
06-03-11 I've gotten so good at looking busy at work, I actually got stressed when I had nothing to do.
06-02-11 Is there a civil rights movement for people with bed bugs yet?
06-01-11 Some evil things are better than good things, devil's > angel food cake.