March's Daily Dose of Rants

03-31-11   These sentences are written on Notepad.exe

03-30-11   Next time someone crosses me, I am going to get so worked up and ejaculate with, "I swear to God, if you do not stop, I am going to smack the poop out of your butt"

03-29-11   People think I use too many commas in my sentences, truth is, I am endorsed by several anti-MLA groups that promote commas in run-on sentences.

03-28-11   Today is March 28, or in the Central African Republic, Boganda Day, a celebration that signals the most historically insignificant day of the year.

03-27-11   I also think, that should be a sentence, and so should this.

03-26-11   I think, since I am part of this website, you should profile me in a blog entry.

03-25-11   Do you like me for me, or just my 32GB First Generation Zune?

03-24-11   What is the best type of duct tape for handy men, and what is the best type for kidnapping?

03-23-11   People that do not like me, I try to win them over, people that like me, I try to give them a reason not to.

03-22-11   Bro, my bracket is fucked!

03-21-11   Soft serve is probably the best thing you can vomit.

03-20-11  There wouldn't be ice cream markers on mapmyrun.com unless I was not supposed to consume ice cream while running, also I threw up ice cream during my run.

03-19-11   Kill the bass, boost the treble.

03-18-11   Today I stole some of Ryan's Chicken Tiki Masala and burned my mouth.....Karma

03-17-11   There should be a 3 in 1 shampoo, conditioner and White Sauce.

03-16-11   If you do not like someone, feed their pets garbage juice.

03-15-11   I was going to correct it, but I will leave the irony alone for the sentence on 03-12-11.

03-14-11   Man, I really cannot fall that far behind again.

03-13-11   There is a lot you can tell about a woman by their armpits

03-12-11   I would put more effort into my excuses, then my actual school work.

03-11-11   Snoop Dog just got back from the Sizizzizzizzler.

03-10-11   I pegged my future on their being a professional kickball league by the time I graduated.

03-09-11   I hope to someday to rowdy applause, extend my hand, drop the mic, and walk off the stage.

03-08-11   Living in a hasidic neighborhood, means I had to google hasidic to spell it right for a different sentence.

03-07-11   Living in a hasidic neighborhood, means I do not worry about being shot at... past sundown!

03-06-11   Shelden Williams' head looks like a Korean Pear.

03-05-11   The only movie I cried during was Osmosis Jones.

03-04-11   Ever since the world cup, I've been trying to trade shirts with everyone I meet.

03-03-11   I am going to treat baseball games, like I treat movies, yelling at people not to talk.

03-02-11   When someone tells you anything is possible, tell them to dribble a football.

03-01-11   I guess they are doing a college basketball tournament again this year.