11-30-11 Late to bed, earyly to rise makes a man wealthy.
11-29-11 Eggnog not nutritious? MYTH. A serving of nog has 2% of your daily vitamin C.
11-28-11 Trying to think of something positive to say about nyc rats, because that is the sort of formula I use for these sentences.
11-27-11 Not a smart phone, and constantly on it, that's a drug dealer.
11-26-11 Hope my bag gets checked getting on to the subway, because it is filled with 24 Little Debbie oatmeal cream pies.
11-25-11 The tables coasters weren't nearly as delicious as the dog made them seem.
11-24-11 I assumed Iron Chef was a spinoff of Battle Bots.
11-23-11 Blood and diamonds, two of the most valuable recources on the earth, when combined, say, "I'll love you forever."
11-22-11 I can get behind a movement that stands up for what they believe in through camping.
11-21-11 Trying to communciate with day laborers that I want to know if a fence based on argyle-style patterns is possible.
11-20-11 Accidentally typed "sowwy" instead of "sorry", my hands have an adorable streak to them.
11-19-11 Breaking news: my headphones.
11-18-11 I was not named after my disposition.
11-17-11 Next time I am in a school cafeteria I am going to put cookies on the toaster\conveyor belt.
11-16-11 Is there anything I enjoy more than looking at facebook profiles of people who have gotten fatter? No.
11-15-11 Being on your own is kind of awesome, no safety net, just you and the world
11-14-11 People that do not go to college, never have to hate JSTOR.
11-13-11 Just realized you can hang gym shorts up by slipping a hanger in, then tightening the draw string!
11-12-11 The government should take over countries with better soccer players to make our team less pathetic, Blood for Strikers, write your senator.
11-11-11 I get really excited for the facebook photo I use for all patriotic holidays.
11-10-11 I read these sentences and I ask how did I become so many people's boss?
11-09-11 Classic Burn: She sucked down more semen than cylla and charybdis.
11-08-11 Reading this book the way Ernest Hemingway wrote it; drunk.
11-07-11 Despite an embarrassing amount of attempts, google won't tell me where I can buy a steamboat.
11-06-11 Time Magazine's Villain of the Year, my dad; finish the deck.
11-05-11 Hands down, Time Magazine's Person of the Year has to be my mom for removing a splinter that was in my heal.
11-04-11 Hoping Daylight Savings Time was going to fuck up the NYC Marathon.
11-03-11 If no one wants to drive their car, because they are going to drink, then just rent a car.
11-02-11 Letter written to credit card company asking if I can pay off debt with blood of the wicked: denied.
11-01-11 Being lucky is just as good as a tangible contraceptive.