November’s Daily Rants

11-30-10   Sonny has requested today his sentence be a link. Eggnog Challenge 2010

11-29-10   Little known fact: William Shakespeare wrote in Comic Sans.

11-28-10   You can tell which sentences I sent via email, and which Ryan has recalled, through the level of appropriate punctuation.

11-27-10   This is easy, I've been writing sentences my whole life.

11-26-10   If all my friends had PS3's, I'd get an XBOX to prove my individuality.

11-25-10   I am the Michael Jordan of baseball of ultimate.

11-24-10   I bet being the elevator repairmen's union throw a banging Sunday-get-the-guys-together-and-watch-football party.

11-23-10   If you're not sure what day it is, it's Wednesday.

11-22-10   What is the official flavor of a tootsie-roll?

11-21-10   A lot of sports have awards, rugby has the "Super Rugby player of the Year" award.

11-20-10   When ever I see that bhangra dance, my brain immediately overdubs their music with the Skidamarink song.

11-19-10    I got tickets to the Knicks Magic March 28th "Asbestos Bowl" game.

11-18-10    The desert menu is dinner overtime.

11-17-10    Jam>Preserves

11-16-10    If I had to choose a favorite sentence, it wouldnt be this one.

11-15-10    At a subway submarine sandwich shop, ask for the high shelf spinach, if they say there is no such thing, give them a wink, they know.

11-14-10    Fresh squeezed orange juice sounds better than fresh squeezed goat's blood.

11-13-10    I had a doughnut-web gem in the office.

11-12-10    A good insult for a guy carrying a sack of hammers while wearing MC hammer pants would be, HEY hammer-sack guy, go fuck yourself!

11-11-10    Daffy duck dresses like a priest.

11-10-10    I think of myself as pretty even-tempered, but very small blankets send me into a towering rage.

11-9-10      At baseball games instead of a glove, bring a bat to hit homeruns back.

11-8-10      It's funny that I'm legally allowed to vote, because I think I injured my jaw trying to fit my fist in my mouth yesterday.

11-7-10      I just drank somebody's milkshake.

11-6-10      How much do you think a mummy costs?

11-5-10      I have a new habit of mispronouncing "extreme" as "ex-trem-ay" in my head.

11-4-10      Pepperpetuallyunderratedmint Patties.

11-3-10      I'm doing a lot of pacing today.

11-2-10      Confirmed: You CAN skip ice cubes on a river.

11-1-10      Sharing nachos at a bar is basically a chip draft.