Dear friends and family,
Sometimes there are ways of saying things that can soften the blow. But, we're too tired for that right now. Ryan has entered hospice care at the hospital.
The good news is that now he can get needed meds through IV, be hydrated, have the help of the hospital staff, and everyone can have the opportunity to visit - BUT DO NOT DROP BY UNANNOUNCED. To make sure that hundreds of adoring fans don't overcome the entire hospital, we've set up a shared Google document where you can sign up for a timeslot. This shouldn't really have to be said, but don't be a jerk and take up all the slots, or add slots, or delete someone else's name, etc.
Remember that this is a difficult time, and if Clover or Ryan are not feeling up to visitors, or if family members need to make urgent visits, they may request that a time slot be removed, or you may be asked to come another time. If you have any questions, please contact Feetch at 315-391-3276, and he will coordinate with you.
I know that everyone is excited for the party for Ryan on Sunday at the Belfry. Unfortunately, this change splashes a little cold water on that, but we've come up with a contingency plan. We will still at the Belfry, and as the hospital is just a few blocks away, people will be brought to visit in small groups. As we know quite a few of you are traveling, we will try to prioritize accordingly. The rest of us can drink, be merry, and tell our favorite Ryan tales together while waiting to go spend time with him. We will come up with a way to make this fair/fun/competitive or SOMETHING (don't worry) so please meet at the Belfry as planned on Sunday.
We want to thank everyone for their support and understanding. Please try not to inundate Clover with texts as she is dealing with enough right now. She has politely hinted that she hates being asked questions like "But how are YOU doing?" and told things like "Well, just make sure you take care of YOU" because OBVIOUSLY guys, she's not doing great, but she's FINE and yes, she KNOWS she's supposed to take care of herself, but there will be time for that later.
If you find yourself in an awkward situation where you feel bad and you want to help but you don't know what to do, Courtney has generously donated loads of her children's laundry that will be in the room and need to be folded. Fold some clothes, be useful! This is not a joke.
Once again, thanks for your love, help, and understanding, and we hope to see many of you this weekend. The Google doc to coordinate visiting is here:
Some Helpful FAQs:
Q: OMG why does he look like that?
A: Because he's had stage 4 cancer for a year and a half…
Q: But he was fine the last time I saw him
A: Yes, it has sadly been a rapid decline
Q: But Clover, how are YOU doing?
A: Please don't ask this question (see above).
Q: Why are his feet so fat?
A: It's a symptom of his liver issues - he has lots of tumors in his liver
Q: What does the yellow armband mean?
A: It means that he is at risk of falling – Do not try to get him up by yourself, call a doctor, nurse, or orderly immediately.
Q: What does the purple armband mean?
A: It means do not resuscitate – Don’t be a hero, if something happens, call a doctor, nurse or orderly, and do NOT immediately jump in and start CPR. Make sure someone in the room calls Clover immediately.
Q: What does the white armband mean?
A: That’s how the nurses confirm his identity. Don’t steal it please.
Q: Who made all these cranes?
A: You know who you are.
Q: Why are you guys smiling in the pictures?
A: Because Ryan is a fun guy, so smile and have a good time, especially if he is awake. For the same reason, if you feel the need to cry, there is a family room just across the hall that you are able to use. If you need Kleenex, the nurses are very accommodating.
Q: Why didn't you tell me that it was this bad?
A: It has sadly been a very rapid process. Also, Ryan has a lot of pride, and wasn't super stoked about it either.
Q: Where is the bathroom?
A: Behind that sliding door right there. Please refrain from pooping in it, as it is a small room with little ventilation. There is another restroom to the left at the end of the hall, on the left, if you need some privacy going #1 or #2.
Q: What can I do to help?
A: Fold that laundry over there.